Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Back from LA

I spent the weekend celebrating the installation of my First Cousin, Rev. Seth W. Pickens, as Pastor of the Zion Hill Baptist Church in Los Angeles CA. It's a warm congregation that's excited about Seth's fresh leadership. The church building has lots of classrooms, a large fellowship hall/gymnasium/auditorium. There's a lot he can do with the facility he now oversees.

I played two selections at the morning worship, and the Spirit moved. Everytime I do what I do I reconnect with my purpose. Actually I wasn't too excited about making this trip. I was happy to support my cousin but I had the feeling I wouldn't like LA, based on things I'd heard. Not to mention the expenditure of time, mental energy and capital required to make the trip. It's a challenge getting there sometimes, as my uncle, cousin (Seth's brother, also a pastor and speaker for the morning) and I looped around West LA and Englewood looking for the church on Sunday morning. But once I arrive I'm free to do what I do. And it's the greatest feeling in the world. The trip also gave me some time to reflect, as I continue to grow in my thinking about music from 'career' to ministry. I'm glad I made the sacrifice.

For the record LA wasn't bad, and I look forward to sharing with the Zion Hill family again. But I didn't see anything to make me leave the East Coast.

Friday, July 24, 2009

Purpose

I've wondered lately whether my "muse" has departed. I'm just not as focused on music as I should be. My wife an I have started a home-based business that has nothing to do with music. It's doing well, and I'm really enjoying it. Working from home, helping people create healthier homes and lifestyles. Partnering with others to create additional income streams in these rocky times. It's all good.

I've put music on the backburner for the remainder of this calendar year to get the business up to speed. For years I struggled with the unfulfilled desire to be a "full time" musician, working in corporate and government contracting. It all hit a wall some years ago. I couldn't keep faking like I was the corporate type anymore. But music wasn't coming anywhere close to paying the bills either.

For a long time I viewed it as a failure. I thought I was a failure. I had to go into treatment for depression over it. It was as if every aspect of my life had been pushed to the edge of a cliff, and it was all about to go over the brink.

I am finally finding a place of peace and balance with it all. We are given multi-fold ministries in life. The care and rearing of children paramount among these. The vision is for our business to get to the point that it covers my family's financial needs, freeing my wife and me to pursue our purpose (Mat. 6:33). The reason we were given the gift of life, and the reason we were brought together: to make a difference. To make an impact. I've been watching Black in America 2 on CNN. It reminds us that there is so much work to be done, and there are people who are getting out an doing it. So I'm moving forward in this season of preparation, thankful for provision and purpose.